If Only
by Affliction6
Summary: Zexion relives his traggic past by reading his best friend's journal and talking about it... after what happened to Demyx, Zexion didn't know what else to do. Zexmyx, Yaoi
1. Freshmen year: what a mess

If Only

_September 5__th__, 2007_

_Dear Journal, _

_Tomorrow is the first day of high school. I can't believe I'm a freshmen… it seems like only yesterday was my first day of kinder garden… sorta… not really but you know. I can't believe I even passed 8__th__ grade! I mean I barely made it with all Cs!! But anyway….. how are you journal? That's nice… I'm fine thanks for asking. I'm nervous about tomorrow journal! What if I get lost?? Or worse… what if I can't find the BATHROOM!! Ok, ok clam down, deep breaths… few I almost went crazy there didn't I journal? Ok let's try and look on the bright side… hmm well I get to see my friends, a new school a fresh start, homework, tests, studying, failing, hating school, getting up early, no fun… wow… this is gonna be horrible… HELP ME JOURNAL!! I can't do this!! Ok, calm down, deep breaths… don't worry journal I don't do this often. Except when I have to make ORAL PRESENTATIONS!! AHHHH! Ok, ok everything's gonna be ok I'm sure lots of freshmen are feeling exactly the same way as me…. Aw who am I kidding… I'm the only one who has panic attacks when I can't find the bathroom… at least I still have my dignity… but not for LONG!! Ugh… I'm so nervous… maybe it's not as bad as I think… I mean people say high school is some of the best years of your life… hopefully they're not lying to me. I think the greatest thing that will happen tomorrow is seeing my best bud Zexion… what do you think journal?? Yeah, I think he's pretty hot too… if only he thought the same about me. Well, goodnight journal I have a looooooong day tomorrow!_

_Love, Demyx xoxoxo_

It all started with a simple hello and ended with a goodbye. I met Demyx in 1st grade he was the jumpiest most annoying person in the world! But I liked him because he was nice. So over the years we grew closer and closer until nothing could come between us. We were totally inseparable… we were like magnets. We had a strong bond… sometimes we even finished each others sentences. I loved him with all of my heart but now I can only miss him. I like to remember the good days though, like the first day of high school… what a trip!

"Hi can I sit here?" Demyx asked as he boarded the bus.

"Sure no problemo" Said the blonde girl.

"Thanks! Hey are you a freshmen too?" Demyx asked as he sat down.

"Yup! And I'm pretty nervous… I couldn't even get any sleep last night!" She said giggling.

"Me neither! I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way… and by the way my name is Demyx."

"Nice to meet you… you can call me Larxene."

"pleasure"

The whole bus ride Demyx and Larxene kept talking about summer reading and what they did over vacation. Demyx was quite happy he made a new friend. Then about 20 minutes later the bus came up to the giant Hillwood High _"Where dreams and memories are flushed down the toilet." _Famous quote. Larxene and Demyx walked off the bus together and headed to the front doors. They then walked in and were completely lost right on the spot. There were like 50 different hallways you could go down… well maybe not 50 probably about 5… but still very confusing! Until Demyx saw his red headed friend Axel coming from the first hallway.

"Few! What a relief! A familiar face." Said Demyx

"Hey! What's up little buddy?" Axel shouted as he gave Demyx a high five.

"How the hell do I know where I'm going?" Said Demyx

"Easy! First hallway is freshmen, Second is 10th, third is 11th, fourth is 12th, and 5th is the faculty lounge." Axel explained.

"How do you know all of this??" Asked Demyx.

"Easy! I just asked people DUH. Now c'mon let's go see the rest of our buds- and who's this?" Axel asked referring to Larxene.

"Oh this is Larxene, Larxene this is Axel." He said.

They shook hands bla bla bla.

Then Axel lead them down the first hallway which was quite long… until they came to a group of freshmen standing around by some grey lockers.

"Hey! It's Demyx!!" Yelled Roxas running to give him a hug.

"See I told you he'd be standing out there completely lost." Said Axel to his other friends.

"Well then I guess I have to congradulate you on your first time being right." Said Saix patting Axel on the back. Then Axel turned around and gave Saix a playful punch.

"Hey what's your name?" Saix asked Larxene as he spoted her standing alone.

"I'm Larxene… Demyx's friend."

"Nice to meet you… welcome to the family." Saix said.

They were all talking and laughing when Demyx realized that I wasn't around.

"Hey where's Zexion?"

"He should be coming soon." Luxord said.

"Who's Zexion?" asked Larxene. Everybody just kind of ignored that question.

So Demyx raced down the long hallway in search for me. At that time I was just coming through the school doors when I heard that loud annoying voice… Demyx.

"ZEXION!!" He shouted as if he hadn't seen me in years and gave me and bear hug.

During that moment I felt a lot of mixed emotions: 1.) suffocation 2.) like my body was gonna break in half. 3.) the urge to yell help me. And 4.) complete and utter love.

"Demyx! I can't breath!" I shouted.

"Oh sorry there buddy." He said as he put me down.

"It's ok… I've missed you!" I said

"Oh my god same here!"

"I can tell! So how do I get around this place?" I asked

"Here I'll show you." Demyx said as he lead the way down the first hallway… while skipping…

It was a big celebration when I saw everybody. We caught up with each others lives and talked a little until the bell rang for homeroom. It turns out me a Dem were in the same homeroom… pretty cool. It took us like an hour to find it though… but once we got there we sat in our designated spots. Demy and I were right next to each other. Nice.

School was pretty boring… I couldn't find any of my classes, all the teachers just talked for 45 minutes, I had so much schools supplies to go out and buy, and a lot of gigantic text books to lug around. Oh joy. But I had at least one friend in all of my classes including Demyx and it didn't seem as bad as I thought it would be.

_September 6__th__, 2007_

_Dear Journal,_

_Hello again friend… School was a crapper… but I guess I really had nothing to be nervous about after all… I found the bathrooms he he. I also saw Zexion… He looked so outrageously sexy in his outfit today… skinny jeans and a cute green t-shirt. He seemed really happy to see me. I think I'm in love with him… Should I tell him? No, too risky. What should I do? Maybe I should send out signals… maybe not. What if he's a homophobe? Nah he's too nice. Maybe I should talk to him about it… I never told anyone not even my parents that I'm gay. I wish it wasn't this scary. I feel like I can't be myself around anyone but Zexion. So I think I should tell him… But not drop the L bomb on him just yet. I wish I could hold him right now… nothing would be better. He smells good too… kind of like a fresh out of the shower sort of smell… kinda like shampoo and soap. I hope he loves me too. Goodnight._

_Love, Demyx xoxoxo_

I did and I still do.

_October 3__rd__, 2007_

_Dear Journal,_

_Man! School is getting on my nerves! Too much homework, too much studying, and I'm already failing 3 classes… this sucks! I also feel like I'm getting a cold a feel really crappy… oh and another thing it's getting cold outside! I hate the cold, I hate shivering! I hate life… but I asked Zex to come over today since it has been so rotten. I hoping to tell him my secret… but with my luck I'm sure he'll be grossed out. I told him I wanted to tell him something important… So he's coming here in about 10 minutes and I'm kind of nervous… it's weird, lately when I see Zexion or talk to him I get so nervous… I start shaking and I get sweaty, my throat gets dry, my heart pounds a million times a minute, and I can't stop staring at him… I've never felt this way before and it's freaking me out. Oh and one more thing to "brighten" my day… Zexion has a girlfriend._

_-Demyx_

I remember that night that I came over Demyx's house like it was yesterday. The most awkward night of my life… now that I think of it me and Demyx had started to become less comfortable around each other… now I know why.

I got to Dem's house wondering what the "important" thing was that he needed to tell me. I knocked on his door and his mom opened it.

"Why hey there Zexion! Come on in, Demyx is up in his room waiting for you." She said.

I took my shoes off and climbed up the carpeted stairs. I got to Demyx's room and knocked on the white door. I could hear him playing guitar. It sounded nice.

"Hey Zex" Said Demyx.

He didn't seem so happy.

"Hey… so what did you need to tell me?" I asked.

"Well it's kind of hard to say. You may think it's silly I dragged you here just to say this."

"Demyx, I will always be there for you through thick and thin… I don't care if you brought me over here just to tell me you have a really bad paper cut I will respect it and do what ever I can do to help you." I said.

"Thanks Zexy. You're great… well here I go" He took a deep breath "Zexion I………"

"You?"

"I love you!!"He shouted. Then he covered his mouth in shock.

I sat there in shock.

"You love me? Like… gay love?" I asked.

"I-I, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to say that. I meant to say I was gay but it came out all wrong." He said.

"Oh." I didn't know what to say.

Silence.

"You think it's nasty don't you?" He said with a tear in his eye.

"You love me?"

"I guess so… yes I do." He said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Well why do you love your girlfriend… that's why I love you." He said.

" You love me cus I have big boobs?"

"NO! Zexion… I'm lost." He said.

"Apparently."

He sat there and started to cry. I was being very insensitive.

"You're not helping. You said you'd help me." He cried.

"There's nothing I can do!" I shouted "I came over here expecting something a little easier to deal with. And I found out my best friend loves me. Kind of shocking don't you think!? I can't help you! I'm sorry you're gay. I'm sorry you're abnormal. I'm sorry you're a fag! I can't even look at you! There! Is that what you wanted me to fucking say?? Huh?! Well you got it!" I shouted… I did more then just shout.

He looked at me with a blank stare. He was completely pale as a ghost. I guess he didn't know I really didn't like gay people.

"Get the fuck out of here." He said calmly.

"What?" I didn't hear him the first time.

"I said get the FUCK OUT OF HERE!!" He screamed.

I got scared and was stiff as a board. He stood up right in my face and gave me a hard punch right across the mouth, opened his door and pushed me out. I rammed into the other wall and fell. He then flipped the finger and slammed his door. My lip was bleeding and one of my teeth was missing. My head was also throbbing from banging into that wall. I got out of that house as fast as I could with Dem's mom behind me shouting "What happened?"

It was raining outside terribly… I didn't want to go home, I didn't want to go to school. So I ran, I ran so fast and so far that when I came to an alley in the city I fainted on the ground.

I woke up feeling pain and sickness. There was some blood from my lip where I was laying on the ground. And when I got up I immediately puked everywhere. It was nasty. My head was throbbing… I couldn't even see. I limped into the city and wobbled down the sidewalks and about 5 steps later I fainted again.

I next woke up in a hospital bed. With a cast on my arm, some bandage around my head and some band aid on my lip. And my head was throbbing like crazy!

"W-wha happened?" I mumbled to the nurse next to me fixing my I.V.

"Oh! So glad you're awake. Well Zexion you seemed to have quite a night. Your head was bleeding profusely and your lip was cut wide open. You lost some teeth, you fainted in the middle of the street, and you were vomiting a lot. So what we did was give you stitches in your lip and head and kept you in here. You should be able to go by tomorrow. So Zexion, we would like you to tell us what happened." She said.

"I got in a personal fight with my friend and he punched me in the jaw… then he threw me into a wall and smashed my head…. So then I ran away and fainted in an alley, got up, puked, walked around, and fainted again, then I'm here." I explained.

She nodded her head. And told me everything would be ok then walked out. I sat there just thinking about the awful things I had said to Demyx. I played it back in my head over and over until I started to cry. I had been such a jerk! What the fuck was wrong with me?! I didn't mean any of those things I said. I had to apologize! He deserved to hit me! I deserved this! I was a piece of crap. But I wouldn't be able to get out of the hospital until the next day. It sucked… it really did.

_October 4__th__, 2007_

_Dear Journal,_

_FUCK ZEXION! I hate him!! I always will!! You wouldn't believe what he did to me after I accidentally told him I loved him! He called me a FAG!! He said I was abnormal!! He made me cry and didn't care! He's SICK! So I punched him… and I don't regret it. He wasn't in school today… thank god! I don't have to look at his ugly face! I hope he died somewhere in a ditch!! I can't even talk right now journal! BYE!_

_-DEMYX!!_

The line I can't stop thinking about was when he wished I had died. It sent shivers down my spine.

The next day I was happy to get out of that hell hole hospital. I didn't know what to do though. So I didn't do anything like the jerk I was.

I went to school the next day like nothing happened… our friends were surprised but didn't want to ask questions. I sat alone very quiet all day… occasionally I'd get the "Awww Zex what the hell happened? Are you alright?" I'd say yeah, yeah I'm fine and walk away. I felt like shit.

The next 2 months were brutal and strange. November I had no friends cus Demyx blurted out what happened… and in December I started to change a little bit. I dumped my girlfriend, my grades got lower, and sometimes I just skipped school. But there was something about December that just made my life a little brighter… Demyx. It went like this: One day I was just sitting in the hallway before homeroom and heard Demyx so I looked over. I saw him sucking face with Axel. I didn't feel disgust, I felt complete and utter JEALOUSY. I watched them for quite some time as they made out in that hall way… I didn't notice it but I had a tear on my cheek… I was crying. I started sniffling so I ran to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror: Ugly. I dug in my back pack for something sharp… I found some scissors… I took the blade and tried to jab it in my wrist… it wasn't sharp enough. So I found an old CD in my bag and broke it in half. I took the sharp piece and sliced my wrist wide open… it felt great… I wrapped it in paper towels and went home. It was an awful day… that was the day a morphed into the "emo" kid.

_June 13__th__, 2008_

_Dear Journal,_

_Today was our last day of school. Pretty sweet. I'm not as happy as I thought I'd be. I still can't get my mind off of Zexion. He's changed… he wears all black now and has no real friends. He's real quiet too. I miss him… who am I gonna hang out with in the summer? Everyone else is going on like 8 week vacations… maybe I should call him… too awkward. Me and Axel are going out now… but I think I'm gonna dump him… he's nothing special. Summer's gonna suck. Without Zexion I'm nothing._

_-Demyx_


	2. Sophomore year: Better than last year

If Only

_September 5__th__, 2008_

_Dear Journal,_

_What a boring summer… I didn't get to see any of my friends… maybe once for Roxas's birthday party but that's it. Well tomorrow is yet again the first day of school… it'll probably be more exciting then sitting here by myself being bored. At least I'm a sophomore and not a freshmen… ugh, back to homework and tests. I'm not as excited as last year… you probably know why Journal. Yup cus of Zexion._

_-Demyx_

Sophomore year of high school was probably one of the better years.

Throughout the entire summer I had a lot of time to think about things… one of those things was that I thought I might have been gay… I had kind of lost interest in girls and gained interest in guys. It freaked me out at first since I wasn't that fond of gays… but I got used to it. I didn't tell my parents or anyone else that I knew. But I was planning to… planning to tell just one person.

So there I was again, in front of those big school doors. I opened them and went down the second hallway this time which wasn't as long as the first. I could see all my old friends at the end of the hallway… when I went by them they just stared at me. I went to homeroom and found myself sitting next to Demyx again. I didn't say anything… neither did he. But I stared at him for a long time.

"What?" he said looking down at his desk.

"Nothing." I said.

He looked up at me looking as if he wanted to say something… but then the bell rang. I left the room and went to my first period class biology. Axel was in it. I sat in the seat in front of him. During the class Axel kept throwing paper at me… I finally turned around and told him to stop. He told me to open it. I did, it said: _Demyx still loves you… that's why he dumped me. I heard what you did to him… pretty cruel. _My heart stopped when I heard he still loved me… I sent a note back to Axel saying: _I've changed… I didn't mean to do that to Demyx… I think I love him too._ Then Axel sent another note back to me: _You should tell him._

"Excuse me!!" Yelled the teacher. " Why are you passing notes in my class?"

"I-I-I" I stuttered not knowing what to say.

"Um he wanted to know what the homework was so he sent me a note instead of disrupting the class." Said Axel. Few.

"Well ok… but next time you have a question Zexion all you have to do is raise your hand and ask me." Said the teacher.

I nodded my head and turned to Axel. "Thanks."

"No problem." Said Axel.

My next couple of classes were pretty normal… nothing exciting. But then I came upon my fifth period class English. The teacher really freaked me out. Mr. Xemnas kept giving me weird looks and stuff like that. While the class was just sitting around he told me to come up to his desk.

"Yes sir?" I asked.

"Hello… no need to call me sir… call me Xemnas."

"Ok." I said.

"Zexion I would like you to stay after class today." He said.

"For what? Did I do something wrong?" I asked.

"No, no, no… I would just like to talk to you."

"Ok si- I mean Xemnas." I said… then I went back to my seat and sat down.

A couple people asked why he wanted to see me… I told them I didn't know. A few minutes later the bell rang. I went up to his desk and once all the students left he closed the door and stood up next to me.

"Zexion do you know what nice eyes you have." He said.

I gave him the weirdest look I could. "Excuse me?"

"And your beautiful, silky hair… I love how it flops over your right eye."

This really freaked me out. "I think I should leave."

"No I don't think you should." He said.

He grabbed my waist and pulled me closer. I struggled to escape his grip.

"Why the struggle?" He asked.

"GET OFF OF ME!" I shouted.

"Kiss me Zexion."

"NO!" I yelled and kneed him in the nuts and ran for the door… but he grabbed me and threw me on his desk.

Then he slapped me in the face.

"Now Zexion" He said as he pinned me down. "If you want this to go smoothly you will do as I say."

I nodded and started crying.

"Good boy… no need to cry… I promise you'll like it." He said.

He started to unbutton my jeans and he began to kiss me. It was horrible. I started struggling once again… then when he stepped away for a minute to grab a condom I took a big text book and smashed his head. He fell to the floor. He opened his eyes.

"You little bitch… fine you can leave for now… but if you tell anyone about this you will die."

He stood up and grabbed me by the shirt and jerked me towards him.

"Oh, and if you don't show up to class tomorrow I will find you and you will die. Remember what I said Zexion."He said.

Then I ran out the door to my lunch period.

My hair was a mess and I had to button my pants. When I came into the lunch room Axel saw me and called me over.

"Hey you're really late." He said.

"I know… um I stayed after class to… ask the teacher something." I lied.

"Oh I see… well I think this is the perfect opportunity to tell Dem how you feel." He said.

I really didn't want to deal with Demyx at that time.

"I don't about this Axel."

"Aw c'mon." He said

"I'll do it when I'm ready." Then I walked away.

Soon lunch was over and I got through all my other classes alive… and I went home.

The next day I came to school very afraid of English class. And when it came time for that class Mr. Xemnas stared at me with pleasure. Freaky.

Then class was over… I knew the drill. This time he turned the lights off and threw me to the ground.

"Can't get away now can you?"

I shook my head.

He pinned me to the ground taking all of my clothing off and breathing on me with his horrible coffee breath. I pretended like I wasn't there knowing I couldn't escape him. He started making out with me… 

gross. I felt like puking… he never really got to the dirty stuff because Demyx walked by the door and saw me struggling with Xemnas. Demyx opened the door and pulled Xemnas off of me and pinned him to the wall. He threw a couple punches to his face but Xemnas fought back and pinned Demyx to the desk and punched him a few times and almost knocked him out. Then, even though in pain, I jumped on top of Xemnas and started choking him. He then flipped me off his back and pinned me to the ground and started choking me.

Everything stopped… I couldn't breath… everything was in slow motion. The room went black.

The next thing I remember was waking up in a hospital bed. Demyx was there sitting next to me. I looked over at him. He was already staring at me.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered.

"I just thought I'd keep you company." He said.

He came over to my bedside and knelt down. He took my hand.

"I'm glad you're alright. I thought you were dead for sure." He said.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Well after Xemnas started choking you, I came up from being knocked out. I saw you struggling so I took a chair and wacked him with it. Then I saw you laying there… you looked dead. So I called 911 and ran out carrying you. The ambulance took you away and they arrested Xemnas after I told them what he did to you." He explained.

"Thanks Demyx… thank you so much." I said in tears.

"Anything for you Zexion."

"Really? I thought you hated me." I said.

"I'm still mad but I still kind of love you."

"Really?" I said.

"Yeah, don't yell at me ok?"

"I love you too Demyx." I said crying.

"What??" He asked confused.

"I love you too."

He smiled at me and gave me a hug. It was nice.

_September 7__th__, 2008_

_Dear Journal,_

_Oh my god!! Guess what journal?! Zexy loves me too!! He told me! We were in a hospital cus I had saved him from almost being raped by a teacher… but that's not important… the important thing is, is that we love each other now! My dreams are coming true right before my own eyes! I'm as giddy as a school girl! Ok, that was weird. I can't wait to make out with him! He's so sexy! My life is the best life in the world, no one has a better life than mine! Well I'm tired so I'm gonna go to sleep… nighty night journal!_

_Love, Demyx xoxoxo_

October and November went by pretty smoothly… no raping teachers, I got my friends back, I had Demyx… yup pretty cool. Until…

"HUH! Zexion! What are those scars on your arms?!" Asked Demyx.

We were all sitting at the lunch table when Demyx had discovered that I cut myself every now and then.

"It's nothing… I'm fine." I said.

Everyone started to stare at me.

"Do you cut yourself?" Roxas asked.

"No… yes… not really." I said.

"Zex why didn't you tell me about this?!" Yelled Demyx.

"Because it's personal!" I yelled then I stomped out of the lunch room to the bathroom.

I put my head down as I leaned on a sink. I heard the squeak of a door. It was Demyx. He came towards me and put his arm around me.

"Zexion it's ok… I can help you." He said

I pulled away from him. "I don't need help!" I started to cry.

"Zexion please… let me help you." He begged

I shook my head and ran out of the bathroom. I ran home after that.

Later on that night I was lying in my room staring at my scars when I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in" I said.

It was Demyx.

"Ugh. What do you want?" I asked.

"Zexion all I want to do is help you." He said as he sat net to me on the bed.

"Demyx… I don't need help… I stopped cutting myself during the summer." I said.

"Then why'd you make such a big deal?"

"I don't like to talk about it… it's just one of the tragic memories I have to deal with." I said.

"Oh, ok… I'd also like to help you with something else." He said.

"What?" I asked.

"Your wardrobe." He said.

"My clothes? What's wrong with them?" I asked.

"They're all black. I think you should stop this gothic act."

"But it's who I am."

"Do you want to look like an emo weirdo?" He asked

I was kind of offended.

"I guess not…" I said

"Well then dress like you used to dress." He said.

"Maybe I don't want to."

"I'm just trying to help… but if you don't want to then I guess you don't have to." He said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, It's what you want to wear not what I want you to wear."

"Oh." I said.

He left after that and kissed me goodbye. I started thinking about what I was wearing and decided to go with Demyx's advice. So I searched through my closet for a colorful outfit ad found a couple. I wore the outfit to school the next day… it made Demyx really happy. Yay!

Pretty soon all the months passed and it came down to June. We took finals and passed. Demyx and I had gotten closer in our relationship… and it looked like I'd be leaving high school on a positive note this time. Thank god.

_June 13__th__, 2009_

_Dear Journal,_

_What a great year! I had a great time. I can't wait for summer now! You know why? Cus now I have Zexion to hang around with! I'll never be bored. Today was the last day of school… I got everyone to sign my year book twice… this year I had good times and bad times but in the end it all kind of added up to one great big GOOD TIME! Woohoo! I can't wait until next year! Well I gotta go now… I'm going to an end of the year party with Zex… FUN! Ok, see ya!_

_Love, Demyx xoxoxo_


	3. Junior year: Ups and Downs

If Only

It came so fast but here it was… junior year. I remember like it was yesterday… one of the craziest years of high school. It started off with a crazy homecoming party just for juniors and seniors. It was thrown by some senior at his mansion which was huge… there were lots of people and lots of alcohol.

I was the designated driver for my friends and I was the only one with a license. Axel, Demyx, and Roxas came with me.

Once we were there everyone ran out of the car and up to the mansion which was blasting with music and covered with a bunch of drunk kids. I stepped out of the car and locked the doors. I looked up to see the mansion but instead there was a girl on the other side of my car staring at me.

"Hey" She said

"Hello" I replied

She had long blonde hair.

"I'm Namine." She said.

"I'm Zexion."

She grabbed my hand and told me to follow her. We stepped into the mansion and someone handed me a drink and another person threw up in front of me… how fun. Namine dragged me through the house and threw me onto a chair. I could tell she was a little drunk. She started straddling me and leaned in for a kiss. A few years ago I would have enjoyed this but not so much now. And then someone pulled her off of me… it was some big football jock… great.

"What the fuck are you doin' with my girlfriend!?" He yelled.

"N-nothing." I replied scared as shit.

"Nothin' huh?" He said as he pulled me up by my collar.

He got ready to punch me but someone flung themselves on top of him. I looked down to see who it was… it was some red head… not Axel. The red head kind of knocked out the jock by landing on him so he got up and introduced himself.

"Reno" He said shaking my hand.

"Zexion… um thanks for that." I said.

"No problem. So what were you doing with a girl like that?" He asked as he opened a bottle of beer.

"She jumped on me!"

"Heh sure she did." He mumbled.

"She did!" I yelled.

"Ok… so who are you here with?" He asked.

"Some of my friends." I said.

"I see… what grade?"

"Junior." I said

"Hm… I'm a senior."

"Awsome." I said sarcastically.

"I'm here with a couple of my friends too wanna meet um?" He asked.

"I guess."

He lead me down a hallway into a big room where there was a circle of people standing around.

He introduced me to three of his friends… Kadaj, Yazoo, and Cloud. They all gave me beer bottles and encouraged me to drink… so I did.

"So where are your friends?" Kadaj asked.

"I dunno… I lost them." I replied.

"How do you and Reno know each other?" Cloud asked.

"I saved his sorry ass!" Said Reno putting his arm around me and almost knocking me over.

"Ha ha! By doing what?" Cloud asked.

"He almost got beat up by some giant jock who saw Zex makin' out with his girl."

"Nice!" Said Kadaj as he gave me a high five.

This was really awkward.

"How'd you get a hot girl to make out wit you like that?" Asked Cloud.

"She was drunk and she jumped on top of me." I said.

"Sure she did." Said Reno.

"She did!!" I yelled

Then the whole group laughed except Yazoo who was giving me weird looks. These people were frustrating.

I just kept drinking and drinking until the room started spinning. I don't remember anything else… but this is what Axel says happened. I was laughing a lot with Reno's friends… and I was acting really crazy… I jumped on a few tables and couches, broke a few lamps, and threw up on a couple people. I also took my shirt off. I then made out with Yazoo… which is really creepy. Then I threw up again and fainted. Demyx carried me back to the car and drove me home.

I woke up the next morning in a strange room with a horrible, throbbing headache and a sick stomach. I sat up in the strange bed and Demyx was lying on the floor next to me… what a relief. But then I looked on the other side and it was Roxas… ok. Then I looked at the foot of the bed and it was Kadaj… ok this was getting creepy. I got out of bed and noticed I was only in boxers… I didn't want to know. I opened the bedroom door and at the other end of the hallway was a living room with the TV on and a couple people sitting around. I was too dizzy to care who it was so I went into the living room.

"Hey look who it is!" Shouted Axel.

He noticed I was getting woozy so he came over and grabbed me. He picked me up and brought me to the couch and put me down. I noticed a few other people in the room too… Reno and Cloud. All I could think was: Where the hell am I?

"Axel… where am I?" I mumbled.

"Oh, we're at Reno's place… he lives with Cloud, Kadaj, and Yazoo. He took us here cus he was the only designated driver." He replied.

I looked over at Cloud and Reno… they waved at me. Then I sighed and fell asleep.

I guess it was about 2 hours later that I woke up and next to where I was lying sat Kadaj drinking some coffee. On the other couches sat Roxas and Axel having a conversation… and then Demyx was talking to Reno and Cloud. I looked back at where the kitchen was and Yazoo was eating some cereal… he said hi. I felt really weird just sitting there in my underwear… but I also felt really ill.

"Uhh… where's your bathroom?" I asked Kadaj.

He put down his coffee and led me to it. I threw my head in the toilet and let it all out while Kadaj held my hair back. Then I flushed the toilet and got up. Then just right when I was about to walk out the bathroom door Demyx popped up and gave me a big hug. Then he carried me back to the couch.

"Aw Zexy I feel bad." Demyx said.

"I'm fine." I said.

"You must be cold let me get you some clothes." Said Demyx.

Demyx came back with some unfamiliar clothes and told me to follow him. He lead me into a bedroom and gave me the clothes to get dressed in.

"Whose clothes are these?" I asked

"Oh, they're Yazoo's… he was nice and lent you some." He replied.

"What a night huh?" He said.

"Tell me about it."

"So how'd you run into Reno?" Dem asked

"Long story. How'd we end up here?"

"Reno is Axel's cousin… we were all kind of drunk and tipsy so he drove us here."

"Was I the most drunk?" I asked

"Uh… not quite… I think Roxas beat you there."

We both laughed.

After I was finished getting dressed we went back to the living room.

"Lookin' good Zex!" Yelled Reno.

"Uh… thanks?" I said

"Hey! He's taken!" Said Demyx as he put his arm around me. I smiled.

I noticed Yazoo flinched when Dem said that.

"Oh! You're gay Zexion?" Reno asked.

"Yes."

"Hah! When you were makin' out with that girl last night I thought you were straight for sure!" Said Reno.

I looked up at Demyx frightened. I noticed he had taken his arm away from my shoulder. The room was deathly quiet and everyone was staring at me and Demyx.

"You what?!" Yelled Demyx.

"N-no i-it w-wasn't my intention!" I stuttered.

"Yeah sure it wasn't… tell me Zex were you sober when this happened?" He asked.

I paused… "Yes" I squeaked.

Then I looked up and the next thing I know is I'm lying on the floor with a bloody nose. Everyone gathered around me while Demyx stormed out the apartment door. Axel sat me up and Yazoo gave me a tissue.

"Nice job Reno!" Yelled Axel as he smacked him on the head.

"What did I do?"

"You told everyone Zex made out with some random girl!" Yelled Axel.

Reno looked pretty guilty after that.

"Sorry Zex." He said.

I justed stared at him blankly with a tissue up my nose.

I went home an hour later knowing school was the next day.

_September 8__th__, 2008_

_Dear Journal,_

_Hey… you know something? I thought Zexion loved me… I thought he'd be faithful… apparently not. It just goes to show you can't trust anyone… and that really sucks. I mean he didn't have to make out with that girl! He could've pushed her off… but no he just had to cheat on me. But I do feel kind of bad that I slapped him. Oh well he got what he deserved… just like last time._

_-Demyx_

October and November kind of sucked… though I had made new friends with Kadaj, Yazoo, Cloud, and sort of Reno. They were really cool… all juniors except Reno. But Reno told me something… he said he'd try and get me back with Demyx. I told him he didn't have to but he insisted. Then December, January, and March went by… nothing… he said he was working on it.

Then it came time for spring break… thank god! Reno had invited us all to stay at his beach house for the week… we were all able to make it. Though Demyx was hesitant.

I drove down to the beach house with Axel, Roxas, and Cloud in my car… When we got there the house was huge! It was completely awesome. It was going to be a fun spring break.

"Woohoo! The rest of the crowed is here now it's a party!" Yelled Reno.

He showed us to our rooms… we each had to share it with someone… I didn't mind I was pretty much comfortable with everyone around here. Axel was with Roxas, Kadaj was with Demyx, Reno was with Cloud, and I was with Yazoo. I got into the room and saw Yazoo lying on his bed with his headphones on. He looked up and seemed quite happy to see me.

"Hey what's up?" He said as he took his headphones off.

"Nothin, what's up with you?" I said.

"Nothing really."

"Whatcha listening to?" I asked as I started unpacking my bag.

"My favorite band Coheed and Cambria." He said.

"Sounds cool."

He nodded and went back to listening. But while I was unpacking I couldn't help but feel like someone was staring at me… so I turned around… but Yazoo was looking out the window. Then I look towards the door… Demyx.

"H-hi" I said.

Demyx just smiled. "I just came by to say hello… so hello."

I nodded and he walked out the door. That was weird. Then I looked back at Yazoo who was now staring at me.

"What did he want?" He asked.

"To say hello."

"Oh, listen Zex." He said as he came towards me. "I don't think Demyx is good for you. I mean he should've let you tell your side of the story instead of coming to a conclusion like that."

"I know bu-"

"Look I think you should just forget about him and get someone better."

"Hey, who are you to tell me who I should and shouldn't be dating?"I asked.

"I'm just suggesting"

"I think you should take your mouth and go suggest somewhere else!" I yelled… then I stormed out of the room.

I ran into Kadaj and stormed passed him. He went to the room where Yazoo was.

"What did you do Yazoo?" He asked.

"I guess I messed up." He said as he sat down on the bed sadly.

Kadaj sat next to him and put his arm around him.

We didn't really do anything for the whole day except for unpacking and talking. Reno had things planned for us to do the next day.

Later that night I went to my room and dressed into my pajamas and got ready for bed… then Yazoo came in as I was lying on my bed watching TV.

"Listen Zex… I'm so sorry about what I said to you… it was totally uncalled for. The reason I said it was because I kind of have a crush on you… the first time I saw you I thought you were so hot and I dunno I guess I was wishing you would come to me instead of Demyx."He said.

I stared at him… it was a lot to take in at once. Then I got up and stood in front of him.

"Well I forgive you for being an ass… and… I think you're kind of cute too." I said.

He smiled a big smile. I leaned in to kiss him and soon we were making out on the bed. It sort of elevated to something very sexual… we took our clothes off and well… it's all kind of self explanatory from there. But it was the best feeling… we were hot, sweaty and moaning. I couldn't believe I lost my virginity… but I did.

The next morning I woke up naked next to Yazoo. I got up and my body stuck to the sheets. I went to take a shower and get dressed… Yazoo still hadn't got up yet… so I went downstairs. Everyone was dressed and eating breakfast.

"Hey Zex." Said Axel.

"Hey."

"What were those sounds coming from your room last night?" Asked Reno.

"Huh? What do you mean?" I asked nervously

"It was like a moaning sound." He said.

"Pssh… I wasn't doing anything he he."

Then Yazoo came down the stairs in only his underwear and he gave me a suggestive look. Then I turned back to look at the others and they were all smiling at me.

"What?" I said

They all laughed.

"What?!"

"You and Yazoo?" asked Axel

"No…" I said quietly.

"Give it up Zex." Said Cloud

"Yeah just admit it!" Said Roxas

Demyx stood there very quiet… I can only imagine why.

"It's cool! We don't care." Said Reno

"Fine! We did the nasty! Happy?" I said with a smile… then everyone laughed… except Demyx.

Yazoo was giggling and pretty red in the face too.

"So how was he Yazoo?" Asked Kadaj

"Not bad." He replied smiling at me.

Later that day we were all sitting on the couch being bored.

"Oh my god I thought you had things planned for us to do Reno! This is the worst spring break ever!" Said Axel.

"Well _sorry_!"

"Yeah c'mon let's go to the beach or something!" Said Roxas

"Yeah!" Everyone replied.

"Fine let's go to the beach." Said Reno.

We all got packed up for the beach and loaded the stuff in the van we rented. Then we got in the car and headed to the beach. The roads were jammed so it seemed it would be a while.

"Thank god I brought my ipod!" Said Yazoo.

"I wish I had something to do." I said.

Then Yazoo handed me one of his headphones.

"Here, listen with me."

"Ok, thanks." I said with a smile.

I think I saw Demyx roll his eyes.

About 30 more minutes went by and we were finally at the beach… which was also jammed with people.

"Man, there's so many freakin people!" Yelled Roxas as we walked onto the hot sand.

"Ow! And this sand burns like a motha!" Said Reno as he hopped along to find a spot to sit at.

"Ah! That guy almost hit me with a Frisbee!" Yelled Cloud.

We finally found an open spot to sit at. We were all so hot that we needed the water. So we ran down to swim. But Demyx was just sitting at our spot and wouldn't move.

"Hey Dem why don't you come?" I asked

"Nah… I'll stay here and watch our stuff." He said.

"Who's gonna steal this crap? C'mon let's go!" I encouraged.

"No! I don't want to."

"Don't be such a party pooper… you love the water!"

"I love you too." He said.

I stood there with a surprised expression.

"I-"

"Thanks for caring about my feelings but you already blew it… see ya… have fun with Yazoo." He said as he got up and left.

"Wait Demyx." I said… but he ignored me.

I didn't really feel like swimming after that. But then someone tapped my shoulder from behind.

"Hey, it's ok… c'mon let's go swimming." Said Yazoo then he gave me a hug.

I realized that he really cared about me. So I went swimming.

Later that night when we came home from the beach no one could find Demyx. I went to my room and found a not from him.

_Zexion,_

_Incase you're wondering where I am, I went back home… it's less awkward here. Have a nice spring break… I'll be fine. Just forget about me._

_-Demyx_

I showed the note to everyone and they were pretty surprised. So was I… I almost wanted to go home with him.

Throughout the spring break week we went to the beach everyday, we went to a few concerts, and went to dinner. Yazoo and I were getting closer I suppose. But then it came to the last day… I was getting tired of these people anyway. I packed up all my stuff and threw it in my car.

"I can give you a ride if you need it." I told Yazoo as he waited for his mom to pick him up.

"If it's no trouble I guess I could come."

"Great!" I said as I took his bag and put it in the trunk.

It was Axel, Roxas, Cloud, and Yazoo in my car now… and we headed off on our long journey back.

"So how was your break you guys?" Asked Cloud.

"Fantastic!" Said Axel.

"Fun." Said Roxas

"Good." Said Yazoo.

"Interesting" I said

"I agree with all of you." Said Cloud.

At about 1:00 A.M. I had dropped everyone off at their houses except for Yazoo. Then about 10 minutes later I came to his house and walked him to his door.

"I had a good time." He said

"Me too"

"I guess I'll see you in school on Monday." He said.

"Yeah… I'll look forward to it."

Then he gave me a hug and I went back to my car and drove home.

The rest of the year wasn't that special… Demyx and I ignored each other. It was a wild year… I was glad when it ended. I couldn't wait to become a senior… but I kind of missed Demyx.

_June 13__th__, 2009_

_Dear Journal,_

_Another year has gone by… how sad. But it's also a relief. I'm not looking forward to another year… why can't it be over?? Oh well… I'll deal. I'm gonna graduate next year! I'm thinking of going to college to be a movie director… kind of cool. It may not work out… I also wanna be a singer. Yeah that sounds cool. I'll probably end up working at a gas station though… heh. I miss Zexion… he was nice… oh well._

_Love, Demyx xoxoxo_

Sorry it took so long! There was lots of things I needed to take care of... the next one will come faster. Chapter 5 on it's way!


	4. Senior year: Losing you

If Only

Well here we are… senior year. YES! One of the best years of my life. It started on the first day of school… I was standing by my locker.

"Zexion" Someone said.

I turned around and it was Demyx.

"Yeah." I said

"I-I-" he stuttered

"HEY ZEX!" Yelled Yazoo from the other end of the hall.

Then Yazoo ran to give me a hug. Demyx was quite jealous… I could see it in his eyes. Then I turned around back to Demyx with Yazoo on my arm.

"What were you saying?" I asked.

"N-nothing" Demyx replied… then he put his head down and walked away.

Yazoo and I shrugged and then started making out.

The next day Demyx did the same exact thing.

"Ok Demyx… tell me what you want to tell me." I said.

"Ok. Well I wanted to say… that I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Sorry for what happened last year." He said

"I should be the one to say sorry Dem… I mean I cheated on you."

"Yeah but that doesn't give me permission to hit you like that." He said.

"Oh yeah… forgot about that part. Well thanks for the apology." I said and then I gave him a hug… a warm comforting feeling embraced my body. It was so strong I had to pull away. I looked into his big blue eyes… I realized then that I still had very strong feelings for him.

"What?" He asked.

"N-nothing… uh I have to go." I said then I ran down the hallway and up the stairs to Axel's locker where he was standing talking to Roxas.

"Axel, Axel!" I shouted

"What, what?!" He yelled

"I need to talk to you in private!"

"Oooo! Private?" Said Roxas

"Not that kind of private." I said as I grabbed Axel's hand and ran him into the bathroom.

"What's wrong Zex?" He asked

"Ok, ok, ok… is it weird to still have feelings for someone you used to love?"

"I don't know… why?? What happened?"

"Well I have this problem." I said

"What?"

"I think I'm still in love with Demyx." I said

"That's not a problem! I thought you killed someone or something!"

"I don't know what to do!" I said

"Dump Yazoo and get Demyx back… it won't be hard believe me… Demyx still has feelings for you too."

"Really? How do you know?" I asked

"Well he talks about you ALL the time… it can be exhausting!"

"What does he say?"

"Things like 'OH! ZEXION IS SOOO HOT!' and things like 'I can't get over Zexion! C'mon guys don't you think he's gorgeous?!' Like I said it can get annoying." He said

"When was the last time he said those things?"

"Yesterday, the day before, the day before that, the day before that! It just goes on and on and ON!!"

"What?? I don't believe you!"

"Ask anybody!! Ask Roxas. Ask them how annoying it is!!"

"How come I didn't know about this?" I asked

"Like Demyx is gonna tell you… like he's gonna let anybody tell you… woops. Don't tell him I told you."

"Man… I never knew. If I knew this I would have thought twice about him."

"Yeah… sometimes he can be emotional about it too… saying things like 'I hate Yazoo! How dare he steal my Zexy!' Sometimes he can put in a few tears."

"Wow… never in a million years would I have thought this." I said

"Well Demyx is definitely a Zexion fanatic. Does that help you?"

"No… I still have Yazoo… I love him too."

"Well this is really up to you. I say just follow your heart… listen to it."

"What would you do?" I asked

"I would probably choose Yazoo… he's really sexy. But that's just my opinion remember. When I dated Demyx he wasn't my type… and he was kind of annoying so yeah."

"I think I know who I want." I said

"Who?"

I didn't answer… I just walked out to my homeroom.

"Thanks for the help Axel!!" I yelled back.

"Uh no problem."

The next day I went up to Demyx's locker before homeroom.

"Hey Demyx." I said

"Oh, hey Zex! What's the occasion?"

"What you mean?" I asked

"Well you never come to my locker anymore."

"Well since you apologized to me… and I accepted it… I thought we could still talk, right?"

"Yeah sure… I'd love that." He said

"So…"

"So… how are you and Yazoo doing?" He asked

"Oh, I broke up with him yesterday after school. He didn't take it lightly… he started crying. I felt pretty bad but you know… I didn't really love him anymore."

"Yeah, it's totally understandable. Like you and me." He said

"Yeah um about that."

"I know… you wanna get back together with me." He said

"What? How did you know?" I asked

"Axel told me about the conversation you had with him yesterday."

"AXEL!"

"It's ok! No need to be embarrassed… I mean I should be the one being embarrassed. He told you all the things I say about you."

"I like those things you say… it flatters me."

"Yeah… but if that's the only reason you wanna get back with me."

"No, no, no! This is what happened… when I hugged you yesterday and looked into you eyes it brought out all these feelings for you that I never had before." I said

"Really?"

"Yes!" I said

"That's cool I guess."

"You guess?" I asked.

"Yeah well, I don't know about us… like if we'd make it together." He said

"Wha?"

"Like I've been thinking about it and the reality is… we probably would just go through the same process over and over again. You and I would be together for a few months… then we'd get in some stupid fight and break up again. I don't wanna go through that pain again." He said

"No I don't think that would happen."

"You say that now… but then watch it happen again." He said.

I just put my head down.

"Sorry Zex but you're a really great friend and I don't wanna lose you again."

"It's ok Dem… I understand." I said trying to hold back tears. Then I walked away.

I couldn't believe I just got rejected.

Kadaj stopped me when I passed him in the hallway.

"Hey, why so down little buddy?" He asked

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Aw c'mon you can tell me anything."

"I know I can, I just don't wanna talk about it." I said

"I could help you."

"No, I don't think anything could fix this." I said as I sat on the ground and started crying.

"Aw! Zex!" Kadaj said as he sat by me and cradled me in his arms.

This was turning out to be a pretty sucky year. And during the month of December it started to get worse.

Throughout the months that had passed all I'd been doing was staring at Demyx during classes and looking at pictures of him. I was becoming obsessed. But we became pretty good friends. It's just that every time I talked to him I couldn't be myself… I acted really different… I think he noticed it. Like this one time we were in homeroom and he turned around to talk to me.

Hey Zex… how do you think you'll do on your midterm exams?" He asked

"Uh, uh, uh…um… well heh um I'm not really sure hehe."

"Ok… well have you been studying?"

"Well kinda… I mean I don't really know… I mean I know… but I don't know… I mean… wait what was the question?" I asked

"Heh real funny Zex. Have you been studying?"

"Oh, hehe… um yeah I guess… uh sometimes… maybe… if I want to… I don't know."

"Are you ok Zex you're acting kind of strange." He said

"Me? Strange? I'm fine! Just uh… stressing about midterms I guess."

"Yeah… me too… I need a good nights rest. I've been staying up late lately."

"Oh, uh me too." I said

"Oh… what are you doing? Studying?"

"Um… I forget."

"Oh, ok… that's um interesting." He said

I sounded so stupid… then the bell rang.

"See ya Zex! Good luck on midterms!" He said.

"Uh yeah… you too!"

What a relief to be out of there.

Then I went to lunch that day and sat with Axel. We started talking.

"So how were midterms so far?" He asked

"Brutal" I said

"Yeah they're pretty hard this year." Said Axel. "So how are you coping?"

"Coping?"

"Yeah you know without Demyx."

"Oh, horribly… I sound so stupid when I talk to him."

"Yeah well here's a worse fact… I hear Demyx has a crush on Yazoo."

"Are you kidding me?" I said

"Nope"

"Do you think Yazoo likes him back?" I asked

"I wouldn't count on it… I hear Yazoo is still getting over you."

"Oh… few." I said

"Yeah don't get too comfortable… you never know what could happen."

"Yeah thanks." I said

"Sorry."

"It's fine."

"What are you gonna do about a prom date?"

"Prom? Crap now I gotta worry about that."

"Heh… yeah me too."

"You?! But you're like a boy magnet." I said

"Well I've had a few offers but I turned them down."

"Really? Why?" I asked

"Well I've had my eye on someone for a while and I'm not planning to let him go."

"Really? Whooooooo?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Why not?!"

"It's a secret… shhh. I haven't told anyone yet."

"Mmm well tell me what he says." I said

"Oky doky. I don't think you'll have problem finding a prom date Zexion… don't worry."

"That's easy for you to say."

"Well I'm sure someone around this school likes you." He said

"Really? You think?" I asked

"I don't think, I know." He said

"What?"

"Someone may have slipped it to me that they're thinking of asking you."

"Who?" I asked

"I can't say… are you crazy?"

I shrugged.

"Is it someone I'd like?" I asked

"Hopefully… I'm not sure what your type is."

"Maybe someone with your personality."

"Oh and not my looks??" He said and then laughed.

"Hehe sure and your looks."

"Sounds like your describing me Zex."

"Does it?"

"Just a little."

Then we both laughed.

Well I passed my midterms thank god. But still no signs of my mystery man asking me out. Then a few months went by and he finally did… this is how he did it.

It was a Friday… I was tired and walking out to my car when I saw something written on it. I was pissed at first… but then looked at what it said: _Get in your car and drive to your house. _Which is what I was going to do anyway…

Then I arrived at my house and there was a note on the door with a flower attached to it. The note said: _Follow these clues and it will lead you to your true love_

_First clue: I am glass and full of toxins._

All I thought was 'what the hell?' I was going to give up until Roxas showed up at my door.

"I can help you! I know where everything is… it's pretty confusing."

"Tell me about it."

We then got in my car and drove to the grocery store… Roxas dragged me down an aisle to a wine bottle with a note attached to it.

_Second clue: Follow Roxas._

"What a hard clue." I said sarcastically

"Haha I know." He said

So I followed Roxas. He lead me to a beach… then he sat me down in the sand. He told me to wait there. So I did. Then 20 minutes later Axel showed up.

"Are you my mystery man?" I asked

"No not exactly. Follow me."

So I got up and followed Axel… this was weird. He took me to a playground… he said this is where it starts…

"Where what starts??" I asked

Then Axel walked away. Cloud showed up 6 minutes later.

"Come with me." He said

So I did. I was so confused! He took me to a rose shop. Ok?

He told me to wait there… Demyx came 8 minutes later… I almost fainted… was he my mystery man?

"Come with me" He said

Probably not. He took me to an Olympic pool.

He left… I waited. Larxene showed up… I followed.

She took me to a manicure place. She left I waited. Then Roxas came back and took me to the beach again.

But when I came back there was something written in the sand:

_Playground_

_Rose shop_

_Olympic pool_

_Manicure place_

_?_

At first I didn't get it… then I realized it spelled PROM? I laughed. Then I looked around and Roxas was gone. Then there was someone walking down the beach in a suite… not many people walk down a beach in a suite so I thought it must be my mystery man.

He got closer and I realized who it was and I smiled a big smile. It was Yazoo. He stood in front of the letters.

"So what do you say Zex?" He yelled over to me

I was laughing so much… then I ran over to him and gave him a big hug.

"Yes!" I said

Never in a million years would I have thought it was him. I felt like I was in love again.

"Haha… I didn't set that up… it was all Kadaj's idea." He said.

"Eh it was pretty creative." Then we laughed.

Then came the big day of the prom. I was so happy about my date. Axel went with Roxas. Everyone else went alone surprisingly. Just with friends. Larxene went with Cloud.

Prom was a pretty exciting night.

Yazoo and I danced a lot and I think someone spiked the punch cus I felt a little tipsy. But everyone seemed to have a great time… except Demyx didn't seem to. He just stared and Yazoo and I the whole night… I wasn't sure if he was staring at Yazoo or me. But every time I turned around there he was just sitting there staring. The end of the night got a little crazy… there were lots of fights because everyone 

was drunk from the punch. Then I turned around to see that Demyx was walking out the door he seemed pretty drunk… he was wobbling around. And when I turned around again Yazoo was gone… I saw him going to a car with a very drunk cloud. I ran after him but before I could catch him he was already in the car with cloud and driving off… I was very worried so I got in my car and followed them. He was swerving a lot… and speeding… the car was so fast that I lost them on the road.

I had a bad feeling about this. Then 5 minutes later I heard a big crash. All the cars were stopped on the road… I felt my heart sink. I got out of my car and saw it was cloud's car in the accident. I started to run towards it. The police man pushed me back and didn't let me through. I saw them carrying Yazoo out of the car… he was bloody and didn't look good. I sneaked passed the officer and ran to Yazoo.

"Yazoo!! Is he gonna be alright?!" I asked the ambulance people

"We're not sure!"

I started crying.

They put him in the ambulance and drove away… I got back in my car and drove to the hospital.

When I got there I asked for Yazoo. Then a doctor came out and sat me down.

"Listen son… we don't think he's going to make it."

My heart stopped beating.

"He has severe head trauma and there was a piece of glass that went through his stomach. He doesn't look good… and there's nothing we can do to save him."

"No! There has to be!" I yelled

"We did everything we could. I'm very sorry."

I started crying hysterically.

"I wasn't ready to lose him. He was my best friend. My boyfriend."

"I'm so sorry." Said the doctor and walked away.

"Wait! Can I see him?"

"Sure… come on"

He led me to Yazoo who was unconscious.

I grabbed his hand and knelt down beside him. I fell asleep in a chair after about 4 hours of staring at him. Then I woke up to a long beeping noise. A nurse came in and stopped it. I realized then that Yazoo was gone forever… I began to cry. I stood up next to him.

"Goodbye… I'll love you always." I kissed him on the cheek and left.

I went down the hall and saw everyone in the waiting room.

They didn't say anything they just stood up and gave me a hug. And we all began to cry.

I later found out that Cloud got out with just a broken leg and a little internal bleeding. But he was probably going to jail for drunk driving and pretty much killing someone. He also has to live with the guilt… I swear to never speak to him again.

The rest of my days were glum. Until the day of graduation. And the speech was given. It said some things about Yazoo in there and how tragic it was to lose such a good person. I got my diploma and just went home.

I got into a normal community college… I was kind of excited. I knew some people who would be attending with me.

The weird thing is… I never found any journal entries from Demyx for this year. Well look out world cus next year I'll be in college!

_More chapters coming soon!! Hope you liked it :D_


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